How I eat...
when I’m with people or in a restaurant when I’m home alone
When Monsters Inc 2 comes out in November.
Little kids waiting in line: ‘Mommy I wanna be the first one to go in’ Me: ‘I’ve waiting 11 god damn years for this, I will be going in first’ More laughs here
Downey Jr. Can Suck it
“I’m gonna be Smaug”
History jokes: If someone I knew had a surprise...
Me: Guess what your birthday and Pearl Harbor have in common
Birthday person: What?
(open the door)
My Wake Up Call
Me: So my throat isn't sore anymore. But how is my coughing? *inhale*
Exhale: YOU"RE FAMILY IS CURSED WITH THE PLAGUE OF THE MARSH!!! MAY YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN KNOW THE AGONY OF YOUR MISFORTUNE!!!
To the future cat ladies, stop before it’s too late
HOLY CRAP THIS IS GENIUS!!!
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo in Five Minutes from Cracked.com
Hotdiggedydemon: Why Adult Men Like My Little... →
hotdiggedydemon: The term ‘Brony’ has been coined to denote men between 18 and 30 who enjoy and partake in the fandom of Lauren Faust’s reboot of My Little Pony, titled My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. From the fact that this vernacular exists in the first place we can infer not only that Bronies… Now, I like animated shows. I haven’t really watched much of My Little Pony,...
A Humbling Experience
Yesterday, I was walking to Chamber choir listening to some epic music. I was also deep in day dreaming (like always) that I was a super falcon beast master destroying evil government empires!!! Or not being single, Which ever comes first. Let me tell you, nothing brings you crashing back down to Earth quicker than a plop of bird s*** to the shoulder that literally came from nowhere. I...
I had my first experience doing comedy at a Comedy...
It was amazing!! This is how I feel right now after my bro and I did an awesome show: BOOM!!! TAKE IT!!! I sooo sorry. Can we still be friends?
LEGO!!! STOP TEASING ME AND GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!!! →
Ask me questions?
Yes? No? …… Maybe?